THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY by Victoria Elizabeth
Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005.
THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY
-- Or, how to improve one's vapid vocabulary --
In the fast-food, fast-track, and fast-lane of life, there’s precious little time for words any more which is bad news for slow-of-mind folk (like me).
I have no “to-do” list and I don’t own a “Blackberry”. Furthermore, I have no need for “power naps” and I don't do “power lunches” (unless I'm wearing my tiara, holding my sceptre and handing out titles to members of the realm who probably don't need them).
Alright, I must confess I do own a cell phone. But, I don’t know how to program the blessed thing with all my favorite telephone buddies. And, what makes matter worse, I haven’t got a clue about the hottest dating device known (to men and women naturally) -- text-messaging.
So, how does one go about choosing mischievous mind candy (you know, the sweet, sticky stuff that tickles the imagination and adds a few more calories and carbohydrates to one's already hyperactive cerebellum)?
Well, take a word like “slob” for instance. It’s a short, four-letter word that covers a multitude of sins, (also a four-letter word that leaves the drawbridge down and the door wide open for interpretation).
Anyway, “slob” lacks shall we say colourful vibrations. In fact, one could say it probably leaves both the user and the recipient in an indubitably bleak state of mind followed closely behind by a complete loss of libido.
So how to bring a spark of interest back to a noun like “slob”? (Note: "Slob" should not be confused with another four-letter word, “slog” as in the verb 'to toil' like witches do, 'to labour' as rock stars do, or 'to work' like a dog …like the rest of us do.)
The answer lies perhaps in tossing the tasteless term into the trashcan, (now stop snivelling ...it's just for one day). Why not take another word out for for a test drive? After all, you've got lots to choose from.
In case there's no handy-dandy dictionary nearby, here's a luscious list of light-hearted love handles to use (besides "pig" or "hog" instead of "slob" to describe your boss, best friend, or long-lost relative Aunt “P”).
-- (and last but not least one of my favorite's), the Yammering Yokel
Remember, mind-candy doesn’t come with any money-back guarantees – so you might want to use your new-fangled words with care, so as to avoid becoming addicted to them or being bopped over the head by someone with a bigger bumbershoot or a better dictionary than you!
Victoria Elizabeth, is a lady of leisure and lollygagging who enjoys playing with words in between doing serious stuff like performing her ripsnorting royal duties as "The Quipping Queen" at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com
Other Articles related to "THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY" by Victoria Elizabeth
•THE JOY OF JELLY BEANS
by Victoria ElizabethCopyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.--Or, how a little bit of juicy jiggle makes the world go round --According to North American researchers, the only happy members of society these days are Type B personalities.Type Bs are, by definition, not Type A personalities. No one could mistake them for a fault-finding flibbertygibbet or a fastidious fusspot. And, you'll never find them pushing the Up button feverishly on a high-speed elevator going nowhere....
•GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!
by Victoria Elizabeth Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005. -- GET OUT AND CELEBRATE THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER 2005 --On February 9th, people all over the place will be ringing in another Asian Lunar New Year – THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER!It’s time to dance with Dragons, bang on the drums, light those fancy firecrackers (left over from Halloween), crack open the fortune cookies, and let’s have a bash – ‘cause the Rooster’s back in town!For those of you who haven’t got a clue what’s going on, the...
•POLITICALLY CORRECT SANTA
by Victoria Elizabeth Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004.OR, HOW SNOW WHITE & FRIENDS SENT SANTA PACKING!It seems that we can longer languish in the reveries of Christmas anymore. Christmas is now persona non grata unless it comes with lotsa ka-ching and consumer clatta! Christmas has been replaced by non-threatening happy holiday greetings, profitable holiday gift cards, and a new medical disease called the ho ho ho syndrome (I'll let you figure that one out).Gone are the days when we can...
•THE LOST ART OF LOLLYGAGGING
by Victoria Elizabeth Copyright (c) Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.--Or, how to dawdle, loaf, or putter to your heart's content--In our time-conscious world -- minutes, hours, and days are only meaningful if they can be organized, measured, prioritized not to mention sliced and diced into productive and non-productive periods.It seems anything deemed time wasting must be derided and then dropped from all to do lists. On the other hand, being listless (having no to do list or a...
•YOUR HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES FOR THE DAY
by Victoria Elizabeth PUBLISHING GUIDELINES. This article may be used in print or electronic publications. Publishers are requested to email the author (quippingqueen@yahoo.com) with a copy of the article reprinted in their publication, or a link back to the author's blog at (www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com). WORD COUNT: 577While many disparage the advent of glitches in our wired world, the only way to find solace and sanity is to return to the ancient teachings.Haiku, (a Japanese style of...
•STOP THE WORLD I WANT TO GET OFF!
by Victoria ElizabethCopyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.STOP THE WORLD...I WANT TO GET OFF!-- Or, what was the world like before brand-names & blah-blah-blah? --Inundated with more than 10,000 messages a day, it’s not surprising that many folks prefer to go “bonkers” than see another blessed advertisement for things guaranteed to cure all manner of ills and bring us joy life ever after.You know the ones I mean ...restore your venal vigor in just one hour (for just $49.95...
•THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT
by Victoria Elizabeth PUBLISHING GUIDELINES: You may freely reprint this article in a print or online magazine, e-zine, or newsletter provided that you leave the byline intact, do not alter the content, and make the blog address, www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com clickable in any electronic format. Please send a courtesy copy for my records via email to: quippingqueen@yahoo.com.WORD COUNT: 609While I was sitting quietly in my throne room this morning at my Palace on Dallas in beautiful...
•THINGS YOU WON'T FIND ON MARS
by Victoria ElizabethPUBLISHING GUIDELINES: You may freely reprint this article in a print or online magazine, e-zine, or newsletter provided that you leave the byline intact, do not alter the content, and make the blog address, www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com clickable in any electronic format. Please send a courtesy copy for my records via email to: quippingqueen@yahoo.com.WORD COUNT: 903Well, I suppose we should all be happier than a pig in a poke. Why? This year marks the first time a...
